0012 Thrive and Connect: Suicide Survivors – Post-Traumatic Growth: Dr. Melinda Moore

Dr. Melinda Moore talks about her current area of research which is military suicide bereavement. She has also worked in the nonmilitary sectors as well.

She references her website www.posttraumaticgrowth.com which was used for her dissertation research. It now is open to the general public for those who are interested in bereavement information.hope-candle-hands11205410_s

The potential for growth in an individual who has been berieved by suicide is presented.

This post traumatic growth is a positive psychological construct that occurs with individuals who have experience psychological trauma.

Dr. Moore describes the loss of her husband Connor in 1996 and how reading Dr. Edwin edit Edwin Shneidman’s book, “The Suicidal Mind,” was beneficial in dealing with the unrealistic, tremendous responsibility she felt for issues outside of her control. This can tend to be a gender-based issue since women typically are the caretakers and their family.

Shneidman discusses how women can be held responsible for their husband’s suicide.

Dr. Moore discusses the risk of falling into a shame state which frequently is reinforced by those around the survivor. This can reinforce the internalization of the suicide and withdrawal from society that the survivor is feeling.

Dr. Moore’s advice to a listener who’s experiencing that withdrawal is go to the Internet and find as much information as you can from reputable organizations such as the American Association of Suicidology (www.suicidology.org), books by Jack Jordan and John McIntosh, Frank Campbell’s website (www.LOSSteams.com), and other sources referred to in podcast. Suicide bereavement organizations are also recommended. References can be found at the American Association of Suicidology.

Seeking out local support groups as well as online support groups is highly encouraged.

The stereotypes that men can run into when they are survivors of suicide are discussed. This includes the stereotype of men being expected to hide their feelings in difficult situations and when feeling pain.

Survivors are encouraged to let go of beating themselves up over the belief that there were some signs they had missed regarding the loved one considering suicide.

However, if some loved one does indicator having thoughts of suicide then be supportive in helping them find the proper resources.

The challenges parents face when there are surviving children are also discussed. There is a very complicated balancing act required for the parents not only deals with throne grief but is supportive of the surviving children in dealing with their grief. Seeking immediate help from competent professionals is strongly recommended. It is important to keep in mind that not all psychological professionals are trained in addressing the issues associated with suicide. The Dougy Center for Grieving Children (http://www.dougy.org) is a great resource for grieving children as well as parents.

Dr. Moore talks about the personal satisfaction she is felt by helping others who have gone through the experience of losing a loved one through suicide.

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0011 Thrive and Connect: Suicide Survivors – LOSSTeam: Dr. Frank Campbell

Dr. Frank Campbell (www.lossteam.com) describes how the LOSSteam was created to provide support (postvention) for those left behind after someone completes suicide.He found through his years of practice people at hope-candle-hands11205410_srisk for suicide would have reached out for help sooner if they knew where to go. People who did find resources did so through stumbling across available resources.

Childhood and generational issues and the connection with suicide are discussed.

Dr. Campbell shares the challenges of people not familiar with crime scene etiquette showing up to help survivors of suicide.

LOSSteams developed around the need to support survivors of suicide while practicing the appropriate etiquette to avoid contaminating a potential homicide scene.

The stresses the surviving family and loved ones face at the scene are described along with what the LOSSteams can provide in terms of support.

Dr. Melinda Moore’s presentation on posttraumatic growth is woven into the discussion. Those who have recovered from major trauma can gain a sense of the work that needs to be done as a suicide survivor and take on the challenge. In fact, by doing this they might be better able to help others who have survived suicide.

The difference between grief, trauma, and bereavement is presented.

Victor Frankel’s, and Joseph Campbell’s, along with Gestalt therapy and psychodrama’s understanding one can’t think their way through trauma is used to show the need to work through one’s individual trauma with proper support in order to heal. This is especially true when working through day-to-day reminders that can feel insane.

The use of a talisman and healing representing the deceased is shown to be valuable when working to stay connected to self.

Dr. Campbell shows how the survivor can get back into life and feel well.

The LOSSteam members do best just being with the survivor initially, seeing them as they are, and pointing the way towards health without counseling.

The disorientation associated with suicide is compared to the untethered experience of astronauts in the movie “Gravity.”

Dr. Campbell closes discussing the growth that has occurred with LOSSteams in Ohio and the good feeling that goes with it. For more information go to www.lossteams.com.

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0010 Thrive and Connect: Mythic Events – Weddings 3 – The Bride and Groom

The Mythical Event series continues with episode three – A Wedding: the Bride and Groom. The bride and groom are assessed in light of Episodes 0008 and 0009 plus their assessment results with wedding 23120033_sthe Majors PT Elements.

The Personality Formation Score, Native Type, and the 8 Jungian Processes measured in real time are discussed.

The two major parts of Personality Formation Scores – perseverance and level of adaptation – are discussed in depth along with their combined score which indicates one’s believed ability to succeed.

Their native type (Jane = ENFP, John = ESFJ) is compared to their 8 Jungian Process scores. This is combined with along with information from earlier podcasts to show the explanatory and predictive power of the Majors PT Elements.

Harvey Hendrix’s seminal book, “Getting the Love You Want,” is brought into the picture for its central concept of imago – a merging of the plusses and minuses of powerful people in our past and how we bring the problems of imago into present day relationships trying to make the past work.

The benefit of being self-aware with regards to all the above information and putting it to work in relationships is discussed.

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0009 Thrive and Connect: Mythic Events – Weddings, Part 2 – Sympathy for the Devil

wedding 23120033_sJennifer and Gary discuss weddings and families with Jennifer first talking about a multi-generational family vacation and how behaviors evolve over time.

Gary then continues presenting his experience at a wedding and associated behaviors vis a vis the light side vs the dark  side. This includes the desire for parental redemption, control, and treating people as objects all in the name of love. These are contrasted with the genuine need for letting go, negotiating with others, and being respectful of everyone involved in order to honor the bride and groom.

To sharpen the focus between light- and dark side behaviors word pairs are provided:

  • connecting vs dominating
  • control vs letting go
  • urges vs love

This all is positioned with respect to how Shadow drives to have expectations met so wounds and ego can be protected.

Jennifer reflects on the reality this can actually be a life-long struggle.

Finally,  Jennifer closes with a personal experience with her father revolving around the Rolling Stones, “Sympathy for the  Devil.”

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